For Banne

Stoke · 10-17-2006, 05:36 PM

The Three Bears are getting a divorce. The judge drags little Baby Bear in front of him and asks, "Who do you want to live with? Do you want to live with Mama Bear. Baby bear thinks for a while and says "Nooo, I don't think I want to live with Mama Bear. She beats me." The judge, somewhat agast, then asks, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" Again, Baby Bear says, "Nooo, I don't want to live with Papa Bear either. He beats me too." The judge, now totally amazed, asks, "Well who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear thinks and thinks and finally says "I want to live with the Chicago Bears! They don't beat anybody!"
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Q. How do you keep bears out of your backyard?
A. Put up a pair of goal posts.
---------------------------------------------------------------
A man walked into a bar and sat down for a drink. He noted a dog intently watching the Bears game. Whenever the other team scored, the dog would jump onto the bar and do a dance. This happened over and over as the other team scored again and again, and at the end of the game the dog let out a loud howl and ran out of the bar.
The man thought this was pretty unusual and asked the bartender, "Gee, that's amazing. What happens when the Bears win?"

The bartender replied, "We don't know. The dog is only five years old."
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Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "241." "That's wonderful!" says Einstein. "We can talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have so much to discuss!!"
Next, Einstein introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the woman answers, "144." "That's great!" responds Einstein. "We can discuss politics and current affairs."

Finally, Einstein goes to yet another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51." Einstein immediately responds. "How about da bears?"
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Q. How come Iowa doesn't have a professional football team?
A. Because then Illinois would want one too.

Banne · 10-17-2006, 05:52 PM

Wow. Thats really funny. Way to use google for really bad jokes that for the most part make no sense. and it should be "How bout 'dem bears" not "how bout da bears". Fucking inbread hikkks from the south just cant get it right. Shouldnt you be fucking your sister, err cousin, errr, they are the same person, right now?

Take my bet you fucking pansy, or shut the fuck up.

Nizuttz · 10-18-2006, 06:14 AM

Damn... uber defensive Banne.

Stoke · 10-18-2006, 06:22 AM

See how much he knows... I didnt use google.

SilverTalon · 10-18-2006, 06:26 AM

wheresmybifocals.com? Official search engine of the elderly?

Stoke · 10-18-2006, 06:33 AM

Nah.... someone actually emailed those to me.... I just cut and paste.....

Nizuttz · 10-18-2006, 07:02 AM

oooh... email FTW.

Stoke · 10-18-2006, 07:11 AM

I dont need no stinkin Google....

The best one was around here a few years ago when the Panthers had that 1-15 season and 9/11 stuff was in full swing.

There was a story one day about how the Panthers practice was stopped and the field evacuated because they found a mysterious powdery substance on the field that none of them had seen before. Homeland Security was called, HAZMAT came out, evidence was collected and analyzed......turned out it was the Goal Line.

Stoke · 10-18-2006, 07:11 AM

Update from yesterday....

Banne is also in a city. We should pity him.

SilverTalon · 10-18-2006, 07:18 AM

Found some more...figured I'd keep them as Philly to make things even (had to remove a couple duplicates from Stoke's original post). Change to Bears and Panties as needed.

Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Philadelphia Eagles.

Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and Billy Graham have in common?
A: The both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: Where do you go in Philadelphia in case of a tornado?
A: To the Linc - they never have a touchdown there!

Q: What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: Why was Andy Reid upset when the Philadelphia Eagles play book was stolen?
A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it.

Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

Q. How many Philadelphia Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.

Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

10-17-2006, 05:36 PM	#1
Stoke Seahorse PlanetSide Characters Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Carolina Old Folks Home Age: 56 Posts: 4,041 WoW Characters	For Banne The Three Bears are getting a divorce. The judge drags little Baby Bear in front of him and asks, "Who do you want to live with? Do you want to live with Mama Bear. Baby bear thinks for a while and says "Nooo, I don't think I want to live with Mama Bear. She beats me." The judge, somewhat agast, then asks, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" Again, Baby Bear says, "Nooo, I don't want to live with Papa Bear either. He beats me too." The judge, now totally amazed, asks, "Well who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear thinks and thinks and finally says "I want to live with the Chicago Bears! They don't beat anybody!" --------------------------------------------------------------- Q. How do you keep bears out of your backyard? A. Put up a pair of goal posts. --------------------------------------------------------------- A man walked into a bar and sat down for a drink. He noted a dog intently watching the Bears game. Whenever the other team scored, the dog would jump onto the bar and do a dance. This happened over and over as the other team scored again and again, and at the end of the game the dog let out a loud howl and ran out of the bar. The man thought this was pretty unusual and asked the bartender, "Gee, that's amazing. What happens when the Bears win?" The bartender replied, "We don't know. The dog is only five years old." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "241." "That's wonderful!" says Einstein. "We can talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have so much to discuss!!" Next, Einstein introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the woman answers, "144." "That's great!" responds Einstein. "We can discuss politics and current affairs." Finally, Einstein goes to yet another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51." Einstein immediately responds. "How about da bears?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. How come Iowa doesn't have a professional football team? A. Because then Illinois would want one too.

10-17-2006, 05:52 PM	#2
Banne Cake Fairy Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Chicago Age: 38 Posts: 638 Xbox Live Leaderboard: 13^th WoW Characters	Re: For Banne Wow. Thats really funny. Way to use google for really bad jokes that for the most part make no sense. and it should be "How bout 'dem bears" not "how bout da bears". Fucking inbread hikkks from the south just cant get it right. Shouldnt you be fucking your sister, err cousin, errr, they are the same person, right now? Take my bet you fucking pansy, or shut the fuck up.

10-18-2006, 06:14 AM	#3
Nizuttz t3h suck Join Date: Jun 2005 Age: 44 Posts: 1,659 WoW Characters	Re: For Banne Damn... uber defensive Banne. __________________ In every city, there are fools to pity -Mr. T

10-18-2006, 06:22 AM	#4
Stoke Seahorse PlanetSide Characters Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Carolina Old Folks Home Age: 56 Posts: 4,041 WoW Characters	Re: For Banne See how much he knows... I didnt use google.

10-18-2006, 06:26 AM	#5
SilverTalon Magniloquent PlanetSide Characters Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: In a van, down by the river Age: 43 Posts: 3,361 Xbox Live Leaderboard: 16^th WoW Characters	Re: For Banne wheresmybifocals.com? Official search engine of the elderly? __________________ "But there's no sense crying over every mistake, You just keep on trying till you run out of cake"

10-18-2006, 06:33 AM	#6
Stoke Seahorse PlanetSide Characters Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Carolina Old Folks Home Age: 56 Posts: 4,041 WoW Characters	Re: For Banne Nah.... someone actually emailed those to me.... I just cut and paste.....

10-18-2006, 07:02 AM	#7
Nizuttz t3h suck Join Date: Jun 2005 Age: 44 Posts: 1,659 WoW Characters	Re: For Banne oooh... email FTW.

10-18-2006, 07:11 AM	#8
Stoke Seahorse PlanetSide Characters Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Carolina Old Folks Home Age: 56 Posts: 4,041 WoW Characters	Re: For Banne I dont need no stinkin Google.... The best one was around here a few years ago when the Panthers had that 1-15 season and 9/11 stuff was in full swing. There was a story one day about how the Panthers practice was stopped and the field evacuated because they found a mysterious powdery substance on the field that none of them had seen before. Homeland Security was called, HAZMAT came out, evidence was collected and analyzed......turned out it was the Goal Line.

10-18-2006, 07:11 AM	#9
Stoke Seahorse PlanetSide Characters Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Carolina Old Folks Home Age: 56 Posts: 4,041 WoW Characters	Re: For Banne Update from yesterday.... Banne is also in a city. We should pity him.

10-18-2006, 07:18 AM	#10
SilverTalon Magniloquent PlanetSide Characters Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: In a van, down by the river Age: 43 Posts: 3,361 Xbox Live Leaderboard: 16^th WoW Characters	Re: For Banne Found some more...figured I'd keep them as Philly to make things even (had to remove a couple duplicates from Stoke's original post). Change to Bears and Panties as needed. Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A: The Philadelphia Eagles. Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and Billy Graham have in common? A: The both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ". Q: Where do you go in Philadelphia in case of a tornado? A: To the Linc - they never have a touchdown there! Q: What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring? A: A thief. Q: Why was Andy Reid upset when the Philadelphia Eagles play book was stolen? A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it. Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles and a dollar bill? A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar. Q. How many Philadelphia Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl? A: Nobody knows and we may never find out. Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and possums have in common? A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!